where did all the fun times go?

slowly and slowly he sunk, leaving behind him only inaccurate memories of good times and misplaced smiles.
slowly he sunk into himself and this couldn't be good. he gave away to his idiosyncrasies, his bent backwards perception of everything and everyone.
it never got him anywhere, never taught him anything, so afraid of learning he seemed.
he never fought for anything, all he had fell from the sky, but now it seems the sky has gone dry far too late for him.
he is the one never at bars, never at parties or anyplace else. oblivious to life, he sinks constantly deep into himself, dragging, like a bad turmoil, those unfortunate to be in his path.
always a pretender, no one ever knew the real person behind the acts and when he sees himself reflected on other people he feels sorry for them and scared for himself.
never being able to decide which is the grimmest, the memories of the past or the perspective of the future, he allowed the present to be such as a boat adrift, being drag by the current. developing vices and bad manners, lying and deceiving, the short path he found not so long ago to momentary plateaus of no helplessness.
slowly he sunk into himself leaving behind nothing but... what has he ever left behind? no answer could be precise, for what others perceived, derived from deceptions and what he himself would tell you would be so far buried in the murky depths of melancholia to be believable. somewhere in between the highs and lows of lies and hyperboles might be the truth lost, the appropriate account of a life gone amiss.
where did all the fun times go? as in youth he would listen to the punk ramblings of the long gone. the youthful yearnings which he was once filled with are nowhere to be found, mental polaroids losing it's colors.
could it be possible and so easy to lose everything? blinded, he's afraid he misses the helping hands that scarcely appear during life. has he missed them all by now? are they really helping? who can tell?
he suffers from too many unanswered questions, too many unsolved problems and bad posture, lost in wonderings looking for the fundamental moment where all's gone awry.